what to expect when you expect more....

I'm not really the one who coined the saying, but along the same lines I like to tell myself: Don't expect anything from anyone but yourself, that way you won't be let down. I understand that people change. I just don't like it but considering I want to be accepted for the changes I have made, I have to learn to roll with the punches. Quizzical. I always want to know why? When I don't get an answer it nags at me....forever. Compromise is the key word, but sometimes I really just want my way. Who doesn't?

material world

I have encountered more materialistic people than ever lately. It's frustrating for me, personally. I guess I was raised pretty frugal. I can't see spending 30 dollars on silverware that serves 5, or 600 dollars on a single purse. Everyone likes nice things. Bargain shopping is my favorite. Like my nautica curtains in my living room that cost me 15 dollars total...because I didn't settle. I bargain shopped. I didn't have to have it right then! People aren't going to know how to survive if and when this world goes even farther into the crapper. Quit being so greedy!!! It's just stuff and stuff can be replaced. Ugh.

chicken scratch

I haven't been on here in a long time. I tend to do that. I have however...been off of facebook for a little over a week. It feels good. It really is addicting. I find myself wanting to check it alllll the time, but I'm glad I don't have to read everyones drama and I'm sure people could care less to hear mine. What happened to privacy people? Listing your entire schedule every single day is actually kinda lame. Nobody keeps anything to themselves it seems and if you do...you get dirty looks and questioned about why. Um, because I don't have to tell you! That's why!! ha!!

almost the end of summer as we knew it

Monday the boys will start school again. Well, Davis will be going back "again", Carter will be a first time student. Carter will be a big preschooler! Davis will be in the 1st grade. It's so unbelievably true what they say while you are holding this new baby in your arms swaddled in a cap and blanket "before you know it he will be off to school". I don't want to think about the driving, then college or even married part. I think Davis starting school was easier considering Carter was still at home with me. I am feeling a LOT more emotional already knowing that both of my children will be in the care of someone else for the entire day. As this week is burning through and I sometimes get annoyed with their behavior and frustrated because they are still running through the house after 10 minutes of asking them to please stop, I try to remind myself that come monday....it will be quiet, summer will be over and the last bit of still having a little one at home with me during the day will no longer be as we knew it. So I will fight back my tears on meet the teacher night and help put school supplies where they belong knowing that come Monday both my kiddos will be one more step closer to being "too grown up".

the 5th of july

on the 5th of july 2000, john and i made things official and became a legit couple. wow...it's been so long and through so many different life changing events. we just had a great weekend with the boys. i'm so happy where i am right now, even on the days when everything is going down the drain.

it's true, monday's suck.

Tonight a childhood friend, Tresa Darden-Ketcher passed away after a battle with cancer. It is such a sad story. It is so heartbreaking. You are told not to be selfish in wanting that person to stay and not leave you...to let them go. I just don't see why she was chosen. Such a beautiful person inside and out, loved her family, loved her Lord. She leaves behind a wonderful husband and 2 little boys. It breaks my heart into pieces. I get annoyed with my kids and husband...she doesn't even get to see them grow up! It makes me feel terrible for feeling the way I do about life sometimes. I cannot believe she lost her life to this. I cannot believe these boys will grow up without their mother. How lost they must feel inside. Gives me a new outlook on life, makes you rethink your thinking. Love you Tresa! You are healed and healthy in the arms of our God.

just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing writing writing

i cannot express how ready i am for this semester to be done and over with! i cannot seem to get the hang of MLA writing. i don't think having the most english obsessed teacher is helping. she eats, sleeps and breathes english!!! she has grown on me though...even if after hearing her speak in what comes off to me as chinese for 3 hours makes me want to shove pencils in my eardrums. a few more weeks. 3 more classes of hers... i think i will survive!!! i dunno if my family will though :)